A cancer diagnosis can feel isolating, but you don’t have to cope with it alone.1 Building a “circle of strength” for emotional, practical, and sometimes even physical support has great benefits. Sometimes, it’s hard to know how to build your circle of support or even where to start.
Overcoming the Initial Hesitation
- Acknowledge Your Vulnerability: It’s okay to admit that you may need help. Many people feel like they should be strong and independent, but cancer is a journey where leaning on others is essential.
- Start Small: You don’t have to build a massive network overnight. Begin by identifying one or two people you feel comfortable confiding in.
- Reframe “Asking for Help”: Think of it as allowing others to show their care and support. Most people genuinely want to help but don’t know how.
- Manage Expectations: Your support system doesn’t have to be perfect. There will be times when people don’t know what to say or do, and that’s okay. Focus on the positive intentions.
Practical Steps to Build Your Circle
- Identify Your Core Support System2
- Who are the people you trust most?
- Who has been supportive in the past?
- Consider family, close friends, neighbors, and colleagues.
- Encourage them to educate themselves about your specific cancer.
- Encourage them to educate themselves about your specific cancer.
- Healthcare Team3
- Your oncologist, nurses, and social workers are essential members of your team.
- Don’t hesitate to ask questions and seek clarification.
- Utilize hospital-based support groups and resources.
- Communicate Your Needs4
- Be specific about what you need. Instead of saying, “I need help,” try, “Could you help me with grocery shopping this week?” or “Would you be willing to drive me to my appointment on Tuesday?”
- Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming others (e.g., “I am feeling overwhelmed with keeping the house clean, I would appreciate help with dishes and laundry”).
- Connect with Cancer-Specific Resources
- Contact your local American Cancer Society or similar organizations for information on support groups and resources.5
- Ask your healthcare team about hospital-based support programs.
- Explore online forums and communities for people with your specific type of cancer, like NOWINCLUDED.
- Expand Your Circle Gradually
- As you become more comfortable, reach out to others who may be able to offer support.
- Consider a therapist specializing in oncology to address emotional and psychological challenges.6
- Local churches, synagogues, or other faith-based organizations can provide spiritual and community support.
- Set Boundaries
- It’s okay to say “no” if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
- Protect your energy. Don’t feel obligated to reciprocate immediately. Focus on your own well-being and prioritize rest.
- Practice hygiene and infection control, especially with a weakened immune system.
- Advocate for yourself. Ensure your support team understands your medications and potential side effects.
Building a strong support network can empower you to navigate the challenges of cancer. By connecting with others, accessing reliable information, and receiving practical assistance, you can create a community that strengthens you throughout your cancer journey. This network becomes a source of hope, a place of understanding, and a powerful testament to the strength found in human connection.
Disclaimer: This article provides general information and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare team for personalized guidance and treatment.
References
- http://www.canceraustralia.gov.au. (2016, June 28). Feelings of isolation | Cancer Australia. Canceraustralia.gov.au. https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/impacted-by-cancer/emotions/after-cancer/feelings-of-isolation
- Nathan-Garner, L. (2024, February 29). 17 ways to help someone during cancer treatment. MD Anderson Cancer Center. https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/19-ways-to-help-someone-during-cancer-treatment.h00-159223356.html
- People in Health Care – NCI. (2015, March 10). Www.cancer.gov. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/managing-care/finding-cancer-care/providers
- Importance of a Strong Support System. (n.d.). Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center. https://www.roswellpark.org/cancertalk/201810/importance-strong-support-system
- American Cancer Society. (2018). How We’re Providing Support. Cancer.org; https://www.cancer.org/about-us/what-we-do/providing-support.html
- Online Mental Health Support for People with Cancer. (2024, December 10). Cancer.org. https://www.cancer.org/cancer/latest-news/online-mental-health-support-for-people-with-cancer.html
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