Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) is a chronic skin condition that causes painful bumps and abscesses, often in sensitive areas like the armpits, groin, and buttocks.1 While the physical symptoms of HS can be challenging in themselves, the condition can also significantly impact a person’s emotional well-being and intimate relationships.2
Many people with HS experience feelings of self-consciousness, embarrassment, and even shame about their condition. These feelings can make it difficult to feel comfortable and confident in intimate situations. The pain, discomfort, and unpredictable nature of HS can also make sexual activity challenging, leading to avoidance or a decrease in intimacy.3
Here are a few ways to keep the connection alive:
Communication is Key
- Talk to your partner: Honest and open communication is crucial. Explain how HS affects you physically and emotionally. Discuss your comfort levels, triggers, and any concerns you might have.
- Set boundaries: It’s okay to say “no” or “not right now.” Don’t feel pressured to engage in sexual activity if you’re experiencing a flare-up or are uncomfortable.
- Communicate during intimacy: Let your partner know if something feels uncomfortable or painful. Don’t be afraid to ask for adjustments.
Planning and Preparation
- Timing is important: Pay attention to your body and choose times when your symptoms are less severe.
- Create a comfortable environment: Ensure the temperature is comfortable and use soft bedding and clothing to minimize friction.
- Pain management: If you anticipate pain, consider taking over-the-counter pain relievers beforehand.
- Topical medications: Apply any prescribed topical medications as directed by your doctor.
- Cleanliness: Gently cleanse the affected areas before and after sexual activity.
Positions and Activities
- Experiment with positions: Find positions that minimize pressure and friction on affected areas.
- Consider alternative activities: Explore other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling, massage, or oral sex, that may be more comfortable.
- Use lubrication: Lubricants can help reduce friction and discomfort.
- Pillows: Using pillows can help prop up and support areas that are causing discomfort.
Emotional Well-being
- Body image: HS can affect body image and self-esteem. Practice self-compassion and focus on your strengths and positive qualities.
- Mental health support: If you’re struggling with the emotional impact of HS, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor.
- Support groups: Connecting with others who have HS can provide valuable support and understanding.
Medical Considerations
- Consult your doctor: Talk to your dermatologist or a sexual health professional about any concerns or questions you have. They can provide personalized advice and recommendations.
- Medication side effects: Be aware that some medications used to treat HS may have side effects that affect sexual function. Discuss any concerns with your doctor.
You Are Not Alone
It’s important to remember that you are not alone. Many people with HS navigate the challenges of intimacy. Connecting with others who understand can provide valuable support and encouragement. Consider joining online communities, like the NOWINCLUDED app, or support groups specifically for people with HS.
Seeking Professional Support
If you’re struggling with the impact of HS on your relationships, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and improve communication with your partner.4
Living with HS can present challenges to intimacy, but with open communication, understanding, and a willingness to explore different forms of connection, it’s possible to maintain fulfilling and intimate relationships.
References
- NHS Choices. (2019). Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS). NHS. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hidradenitis-suppurativa/
- Phan, K., Huo, Y. R., & Smith, S. D. (2020). Hidradenitis suppurativa and psychiatric comorbidities, suicides and substance abuse: systematic review and meta-analysis. Annals of translational medicine, 8(13), 821. https://doi.org/10.21037/atm-20-1028
- Quinto, R. M., Mastroeni, S., Sampogna, F., Fania, L., Fusari, R., Iani, L., & Abeni, D. (2021). Sexuality in Persons With Hidradenitis Suppurativa: Factors Associated With Sexual Desire and Functioning Impairment. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12, 729104. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.729104Exploring Hidradenitis Suppurativa Support | Managing The Emotional Impact. (2024, March 13). Canadian Hidradenitis Suppurativa Foundation | CHSF. https://hsfoundation.ca/exploring-hidradenitis-suppurativa-support/
- Exploring Hidradenitis Suppurativa Support | Managing The Emotional Impact. (2024, March 13). Canadian Hidradenitis Suppurativa Foundation | CHSF. https://hsfoundation.ca/exploring-hidradenitis-suppurativa-support/
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